Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
