Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
