coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize