Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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