Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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