New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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