i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
