im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
