She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah