Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.