Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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