Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
