There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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