Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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