Don't make out with my wife yet
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
