Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
