Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
