I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
