brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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