My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize