made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
