i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
3pm strippers are depressing
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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