id be glad to
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
