I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
