My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize