idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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