The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
