Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
