And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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