worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
