Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
