Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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