I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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