butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
