Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
birth control should be required to get into college
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize