dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
