no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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