Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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