so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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