my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
