i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize