drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm always down for nudity.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize