I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you didnt know i had herpes?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
