were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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