I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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