youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
