Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
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Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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