Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize