seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
and you fell through a lawn chair
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
