my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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