If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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