im about as happy as oj after his trial
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
