Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
