I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
