she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
