What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The power of my boobs compel you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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