Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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